By Heather Judd
Heather Judd is currently a sister, daughter, and teacher in a classical, Lutheran school in Wyoming. The last of these vocations demonstrates the divine sense of irony since she (a) was homeschooled for her entire K-12 education, (b) only became a classical education enthusiast after earning her B.A. in education, (c) attended just about every denomination except Lutheran growing up, and (d) had never been to Wyoming before moving there for the teaching call. When she is not spending time in the eccentric world of middle school students, she enjoys reading, writing, acting, baking, playing organ, and pondering the mysteries of theology, physics, and literature.
Churches are places of symmetry. In traditional
architecture, the nave, the altar, and the cross all embody beauty through
symmetrical perfection.
The Advent wreath is just the opposite. It begins
well but ends, quite frankly, lopsided.
I don’t think I actually have OCD, but I do like
things “just so.” Pictures should hang straight and books stand at attention on
the edges of the shelves. In my classroom, I begin to feel uneasy toward the
end of an antsy day when all my students have scooted their desks to sit at odd
angles. Thus, the Advent wreath has always caused me perturbation.
The first week is not so bad, as the single candle
shortens next to its three stately compatriots. If there’s a pink (er—“rose”)
candle, it’s opposite the one in use this week anyway, so the whole thing still
has a line of symmetry.
The second week, there is a subtle shifting. If I
were on the Titanic, I would start to be uneasy.
The third week, my asymmetry-senses start tingling.
But by the fourth week, I begin to lose my grip. Not
only is the whole wreath off-kilter by now, but in my church, the wreath, which
has been used daily for school chapel services during the previous three weeks,
is lit only on Sunday and Wednesday now that Christmas vacation has begun. And
even if that were not the case, the fourth week of Advent is almost never a
full week, so the fourth candle cannot possibly attain seven days’ worth of
diminishment before the Christmas candle is added.
Now whenever I come to church in the next twelve
days, I will eye Candle #1 warily to see if it will hold out until Epiphany,
while simultaneously lamenting how much of Candle #4 will be wasted. Once or
twice I may even have caught myself pondering what it would look like to create
an Advent wreath with candles that start out at uneven heights calculated to
end in perfect uniformity.
I might claim my concern is a longing for the
perfection of the Edenic “very good” or the beauty of holiness prescribed in
the Tabernacle and Temple. I might be right. But no matter how proper this
longing may be, it is not my place to order the whole of the Church to my
standards of uniformity. I in my little corner of time and space cannot
possibly comprehend the proper proportions of God’s eternal pattern. This year,
though, the Advent wreath gave me a new thought. What if, within all the
ordered, stately, symmetrical beauty that God prescribes (Exodus 26-30) and
that Church tradition has embraced, this small amount of Advent asymmetry is meant
to draw my attention and cause me a smidge of unease?
Advent is the season of waiting. The readings remind
us of the Old Testament saints who waited for the Messiah without knowing
whether He would come in their lifetimes or centuries hence. They remind us,
too, that we are waiting for our Christ to come again, and that we know not
whether He will come this Advent or after generations of our children’s
children have been laid to rest in the narrow chambers of their graves. What is
certain is that some believers live far removed in time from the Lord’s comings
while others live during the day of His visitation. For some the wait is long.
For others it is short.
Or as Jesus tells it in Matthew 20, “For the kingdom
of heaven is like a master of a house who went out early in the morning to hire
laborers for his vineyard.” We probably all remember the familiar story about
how a group of men agreed to work for a denarius, and were later offended when
other men received the same payment for only an hour’s labor. The master tells
them, “Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as
I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or
do you begrudge my generosity?’ So the last will be first, and the first last.”
I’d like things weighed out precisely: balanced,
symmetrical, and just. I’d like to tell God exactly how much each of my
fellow-workers deserves. I’d like to resize those “candles” who seem to have
wasted three quarters of their lives. I’d like to calculate the whole of God’s
doings according to my own timetables.
However, in His grace God pours more abundantly than
I can weigh: cascading heaps of grace. He gives me a full day’s wage despite my
own sloth. He claims me even in my prodigality. He is not slack in fulfilling
His promises, but patiently awaits repentance.
The days are hastening swiftly toward the great Day
of the Lord, yet God does not count time as we do. We may be the fourth candle
before the final Advent of our Lord, but we may just as well be the first
candle, our lives burning on in witness to millennia more of descendants.
Knowing our place within the waiting is not our concern. Rather, our concern is
to keep our wicks trimmed and our lights burning, not knowing when that day
will come.
But when the Last Day does come, I suspect that all
the asymmetry of uneven burning will prove but an illusion, a trick of time to
be enfolded in the eternal fire of the I AM who speaks from the flame of the
unconsumed bush (Exodus 3) and Who sees all with His eyes like a flame of fire
(Revelation 1:14, et al.). In eternity, waiting is no more; all is fulfillment.
There we shall know beauty and order beyond our earthly comprehension. There
“night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun [or Advent
candles], for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and
ever” (Revelation 22:5).
***
Heather Judd is currently a sister, daughter, and teacher in a classical, Lutheran school in Wyoming. The last of these vocations demonstrates the divine sense of irony since she (a) was homeschooled for her entire K-12 education, (b) only became a classical education enthusiast after earning her B.A. in education, (c) attended just about every denomination except Lutheran growing up, and (d) had never been to Wyoming before moving there for the teaching call. When she is not spending time in the eccentric world of middle school students, she enjoys reading, writing, acting, baking, playing organ, and pondering the mysteries of theology, physics, and literature.
Very nice article, Heather! We're reusing our lopsided candles from last year so that they don't go to waste, and the fourth week candle from last year is the one we've been burning this week. I love your article because of how beautifully and articulately you turn our attention from the mundane to the profound. I expect I'll read this again sometime before Christmas comes.
ReplyDeleteIn the Orthodox tradition we don't have an advent wreath or candles, but we do wait longingly for Christmas and have an Advent that is as long as Lent, 40 days. It's a time to remember how disordered humanity has been from Adam, and our own "wonkiness," if I may use a euphemistic word which the uneven candles bring to mine. We direly needed the Savior, and I thank you for using the Advent wreath to demonstrate that in a small way. A blessed Advent and Nativity to your family!
ReplyDeleteI seem to have spoken too soon - here is an example of how an Orthodox family does an Advent wreath! http://www.janegmeyer.com/blog/our-advent-wreath/
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful wreath (and very California-looking, too).
DeleteYou know, I have never been a big fan of Advent wreaths, and I think you've hit on the exact reason: they're not symmetrical. I have a great desire for symmetry, and the fact that there's only one pink candle and we don't have all the candles lit at the same time has always bugged me. Now I just need to ponder what this says about me...
ReplyDeleteThanks for this thought-provoking article!
Heather, I just love this post! Beautiful, true, enlightening, and very helpful - I absolutely share your sentiments. Thanks for taking the time to write and share it!
ReplyDelete