By Ruth Meyer
I had no idea what I was getting into when I had kids. I knew all the answers, of course, and my kids would be little angels. I’d never let them eat in the car, they would eat their fruits and vegetables, they would get along with each other, and they would listen right away when disciplined. My rosy vision of life with children was a far cry from my reality now. All of my expectations above fell short. My kids do eat in the car, they don’t always eat their fruits and veggies, they fight with each other, and they sure don’t listen right away when I have to discipline them. Not only that, but along the way I find myself in situations I never would have imagined before my children were born. These things range from the humorous to the absurd to the poignant. Let me give just a few examples of what I mean…
I had no idea what I was getting into when I had kids. I knew all the answers, of course, and my kids would be little angels. I’d never let them eat in the car, they would eat their fruits and vegetables, they would get along with each other, and they would listen right away when disciplined. My rosy vision of life with children was a far cry from my reality now. All of my expectations above fell short. My kids do eat in the car, they don’t always eat their fruits and veggies, they fight with each other, and they sure don’t listen right away when I have to discipline them. Not only that, but along the way I find myself in situations I never would have imagined before my children were born. These things range from the humorous to the absurd to the poignant. Let me give just a few examples of what I mean…
Before I had kids…
- I figured it would be a
challenge to get everyone out the door in time for church, but I never
would have foreseen going to church in pants because I only shaved one leg
after my baby made it past the barricade I erected for her in the bathroom
and crawled into the walk-in shower with me.
- I knew I would be cleaning up
after them, but it never occurred to me that within the span of five
minutes my daughter and I would spill the same bowl of Cheerios three
times.
- I guessed someday I’d play
make-believe with them, but I never would have dreamed that I would be
carrying on a conversation with three paper plate leprechauns named
Seamus, Daniel, and Cliff as I made eggs for brunch.
- I wanted to play games with
them, but I never thought I would sit on the sidelines and watch my
five-year old play Sorry with three imaginary friends.
- I figured they would do silly
things, but I never imagined one of my children would stand on the street
corner begging for money with a handwritten sign that said “We are pore,”
even as he stood there in a full Sunday suit.
- I knew they would break things,
but I never imagined they would stuff rocks down our clean out line,
backing up our sewer in the winter when the ground was frozen, requiring
the whole thing to be dug out at great cost.
- I was fully prepared to kiss
their boo-boos, but I never knew how heart-rending it would be for me when
one of them had an emotional scar I wouldn’t be able to kiss away.
There’s no doubt about
it, parenthood changes a person. There are days when bedtime can’t come
fast enough. There are days when I want to give up. There are days
when my kids are cranky and whiny. There are days when I am cranky
and whiny. It’s tough, often grueling work, raising kids, and many of us
second-guess ourselves far too often. Am I doing this right? we
ask ourselves. Should I be doing more with my kids? Less?
How many activities should I let them do at one time? I should have
handled that differently... The doubts assail, sometimes overwhelm,
us. But just as there are days that seem to overwhelm you, there are also
moments that stand out gloriously, among the ordinary (or not-so-ordinary!)
moments of everyday motherhood. God Moments, I call them, and they
often come when I’m least expecting them but most needing them.
Before I had kids…
- I knew I would teach them about
Jesus, but nothing prepared me for the emotions I experienced when my baby
first pointed to a cross on her own and said, “Jesus!”
- I knew I would sing hymns to
them, but I never dreamed my five-year old would be singing along
with the CD in the car at the top of her lungs, “Holy Spirit, the unction
of blessings, Sacred oil of the green olive tree…”
- I envisioned teaching them the
10 Commandments, but I didn’t foresee how literal they would be.
When talking about our former parish once, I said about the pastor,
“Oh, I love that man!” to which my shocked second-grader said, “You’re
committing adultery!”
- I hoped and prayed that our
home would be one where we spoke naturally about our faith, but I couldn’t
hold back the tears when I overheard my then eight-year old hold up a baby
Jesus figurine from the nativity scene and say to his six-month old
sister, “Do you know who this is? That’s your Savior!”
- I knew we would pray together
as a family, but I never realized how mature my children would be about
their prayers at times, even asking me on bad days if they could pray for
me.
There’s a collect I hear
every so often in church that has always intrigued me. It asks God to
allow parents to “see in their children the treasures You have buried there.”
What does that imply? That children’s talents and abilities are
hidden? Well, honestly, that’s often true. I don’t look at my kids
every day and see great potential. When I’m trying desperately to get
supper ready and my boys are fighting, my preschooler is whining, and my baby
is tugging at my pants to be picked up, quite honestly I’m not thanking God for
the hidden treasures in my children. But those treasures are there.
Not just talents they will later develop, like music or art or sports,
but attitudes and personalities such as those from my second list above. God
Moments give us glimpses of those spiritual treasures God has planted in
our children through their baptisms. I am often humbled by my children.
I learn lessons from them nearly every day. They teach me about
forgiveness, love, faith like a child, and so much more.
There’s no doubt about
it, my children have changed my life, in ways beyond scheduling and eating and
playing. They give me a compelling reason to live out my faith.
They are observing and picking up on far more than the words I teach
them. It’s a daunting task, but we don’t have to go it alone, moms.
Just as our kids need a Savior, so do we. And He is with us every
step of the way, forgiving our mistakes, granting us strength and wisdom, and
encouraging us through His Word. He does it for our children and He does
it for us. We are all forgiven and redeemed children of the same heavenly
Father. Of course we had no idea what we were getting into before we had
kids. But we do know that God, the perfect parent, is on our side.
Keep your eyes open, because you just never know when your heavenly
Father will allow you a glimpse of the treasures He has buried in your precious
children.
***
Ruth Meyer is living out her vocation as a Lutheran woman
in the roles of sister, daughter, mother, and wife. Her greatest joy in life is living as a
redeemed child of God, who has blessed her in her many vocations. Besides her human relationships, Ruth's other
interests include music and writing. She
is a church musician and has a special love for Lutheran hymnody. She also loves to write, and has a children's
book set to be published through CPH this fall.
Ruth keeps her own blog at truthnotes.net. Her hope is that through her writing you are
encouraged and perhaps even challenged in your God-given vocations.
Title Image: "The Feast of Saint Nicholas" by Jan Steen
Amen to that! Parenting is not glamorous or easy and thankfully our daughters managed to become mature, well grounded, Christian (read as Lutheran) adults. Every step along the way we thought we would, certainly, mess them up but God had other plans!!
ReplyDeleteYou summed it up so nicely... Thank you.
"There’s no doubt about it, my children have changed my life, in ways beyond scheduling and eating and playing. They give me a compelling reason to live out my faith. They are observing and picking up on far more than the words I teach them. It’s a daunting task, but we don’t have to go it alone, moms. Just as our kids need a Savior, so do we. And He is with us every step of the way, forgiving our mistakes, granting us strength and wisdom, and encouraging us through His Word. He does it for our children and He does it for us. We are all forgiven and redeemed children of the same heavenly Father. Of course we had no idea what we were getting into before we had kids. But we do know that God, the perfect parent, is on our side. Keep your eyes open, because you just never know when your heavenly Father will allow you a glimpse of the treasures He has buried in your precious children. "