By Anna Ilona Mussmann
Target is planning to make a few in-store changes.
Instead of a blue aisle for action figures and a pink aisle for princess
dress-up sets, toys will soon be displayed without gender specification. The
alteration was precipitated by a customer who tweeted a photo of aisle signage
in Target that listed both “Building sets” and “Girls’ building sets.” The
internet was not impressed by the implications of the division. Target has
responded to these and other complaints by agreeing that fewer of their products
ought to be labeled and divided by the sex of the intended recipient. In
future, children will be able to choose playthings and bedding without the
ostensible pressure of conforming to gender stereotypes.
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Yet commentators from both sides seem to view Target’s
signs and labels as capable of influencing culture. Some delighted individuals
speak of Target’s decision as one more step along the journey to eliminate a
“binary model” of gender. Others declare furiously that they will boycott the
retailer for bowing to liberal pressure and attempting to rob boys and girls of
their natural identity. To all of these people, Target’s decision really
matters.
Their fervor forces me to realize that in one way, they are right. They recognize that in the fever-pitch of today’s cultural turmoil, even little things like corporate shelving decisions are potent symbols. It may not matter to me personally how much “gendered merchandise” is available, but the status of this merchandise does demonstrate the comparative power and dominance of different systems of morality. One system would like to say that defining boys as beings who wear blue is fine and dandy, and the other would like to say that trying to define boys at all is immoral (and that perhaps boyhood itself is a figment of our antiquated imagination). As this question is fought out, companies like Target (who have no wish to run afoul of the majority) keep a wary eye on the winds of change.
Yet I think we make a mistake if we wade into the battle
as if we must necessarily defend segregated toy aisles in order to uphold
traditional beliefs about the sexes. Incendiary conservative blogger Matt Walsh
has responded to the issue with a post
entitled, “Yes, Target, I Do Want My Daughter to Conform to Her Gender,”
but even though I want my daughter’s identity to be shaped by her uniquely
female vocations, I don’t want her to conform to the vision of
femininity that is presented in Target’s blindingly pink toy aisle. I do not
want her to think that being womanly is dependent on wearing cheaply produced
princess high heels, slavishly following commercial trends, or automatically
rejecting all toys not emblazoned with characters from Frozen (which
can’t hold a candle to Tangled, anyway). As a child plays, so is she in
her heart.
It is important to me that my children see the toy aisle
(and the culture) as something with which they may engage but never blindly
consume. In fact, I want them to be a little too weird to realize that they are
“supposed” to like certain trends or to choose certain products. I would rather
see my girl enjoy a spaceship bedspread than see her select the pink one just
because it won’t embarrass her in front of her friends. Better yet, I would
love to see my children’s tastes so deeply influenced by the truly beautiful
imagery in art, old books, and historic handicrafts that they are relatively
unmoved by Disney’s plastic and polyester. This avowal might seem like a mere
parenting quirk--the influence of having read too much Little House in the
Big Woods at a vulnerable age--but to me it is connected to something far
bigger than personal taste.
The thing is, our identities and sense of what is
desirable in life ought not to be shaped by even the most family-friendly mass
culture. Human culture is created by sinful mankind and will therefore always
be flawed. This means that Christians of any era must be OK with being weird
and different. As Lutheran parents, we wish to catechize our children and teach
them about the identity that they have received from Christ. One small way to
support this work is to protect our kids from conforming to any commercial
brand, message, or product line out of unconscious habit.
It is not that pink polyester is evil or that I will
judge you for giving your child a Disney-Princess-themed birthday party. Let’s
have all the parties we want. Let’s just do it in our own, weird,
non-commercial way, complete with whatever mishmash we desire of swords,
crowns, and wands; but ultimately defined by ourselves and our understanding of
Scripture rather than someone at the corporate head office. I think we would do
better to build family cultures of our own instead of acting as if, by winning
a culture war, we can preserve a mass culture that will properly raise our
children.
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